Grief is rotten. Grief is consuming. Grief takes my breath away.
I miss you mam.
I miss you with all my heart.
Time does heal, it's true. But if I let myself think too hard about you; if I let myself remember the details; if I think about the pain you went through; if I think about the damned injustice that somebody so beautiful and kind could be taken away from us when you had so much living left in you....well.... the pain is as sharp and deep and cutting as it was in those first weeks after you left us. So I don't go to that place in my mind very often mam. And then I feel guilty. I feel like I have let you down.
But know this mam; I love you.
I love you and I long for you so much it wells up inside of me and I feel I will burst and cry and cry and never stop.
Eleven years.
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